Well, actually, it’s Tuesday. That I didn’t write anything for Monday may give you an indication of what my weekend was like. I’d like to tell you it was so consumed with joyous activity that I forgot to write my It’s Monday reflection. In truth, I was sad–sad for families thrust into the chasm of grief and loss that separates life as it was from life as it will be.
A mother succumbed to a decade long battle with cancer. Now her husband and two high school aged kids wearily navigate the chasm between life as it was and life as it will be.
A husband, father, and grandfather succumbed to the weight of life. Now his loved ones perilously navigate the chasm that separates life as it was from life as it will be.
In both cases, questions far outweighed answers; uncertainty trumped certainty; the pain of loss placed a stranglehold on the promise of life. A consuming abyss of why
gaped before each family member and friend daring them to spar with its vast consequence through pithy sentiments and quaint platitudes. “There must be a reason.” “This must be part of God’s plan.” Yet, no simplistic response could contend with the actualities of life and grief and loss.
What I did witness, though, was not the answer to the why, but the emergence of who– a patriarch speaking compassionately to his family both with piercing truth and tender mercy; a dying mother blessing her sons, speaking clearly through her faltering voice about how proud she was of them and what a blessing they had been to her; friends keeping vigil, extending themselves in ways both simple and beautiful.
I wish I could say I wasn’t sad anymore but that wouldn’t be true. I am. Yet, I am still hopeful. Hopeful that God continues to be made known in the ones who are willing to bridge the chasm that separates life as it was from life as it will be, the ones who show up, who extend themselves, who willingly offer themselves in love.
It’s Tuesday. Instead of painstakingly trying to answer the why questions of people’s lives, lovingly answer the who question. Be the one who shows up, who extends themselves, who willingly offers themselves in love. Peace. Kai